THE CURTAIN SHOP
A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the
salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink
curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be
having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink
floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde
promptly replies, "Fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small,
what room are they for?"

The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her
computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not need
curtains!"

The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo ... I've got Windoooooows.

GAS STATION
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died.After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just
crap in thecarburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish
you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away
my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her
right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says,
"Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." He
says. She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the
bus again!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How
can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river
then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing into the car he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to
his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, 'We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going
to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at
each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you
idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde
replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you
hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that
consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and
then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin
and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for
Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done,
whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the
coin,muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her
and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour,
but now I'm rechecking my answers."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she
decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local
park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this
note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown
bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed,
The Blonde. She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and
told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the
park to find the
$10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had
instructed. Inside the bag was the following note.... Here is your
money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!