Military Technology

You know your Advanced Warfighting Experiment unit is too technologically advanced when...

Every vehicle has "Intel Inside" stenciled on the side.

The service is renamed "Army2001."

Tanks play a little tune when you start them up.

The platoon medic carries Norton Antivirus in his first-aid kit.

Your gunsights have a Windows ME startup screen.

Every night Marine Corps boot camp recruits shout, "Good night, Bill Gates, wherever you are!"

Bayonets have a laser range finder and barometric pressure gauge.

Military funerals feature the "21 beep salute" and the "missing file formation."

Unit guidons are replaced with black-and-white bar codes.

Crashing a vehicle takes on a whole new meaning.

Maintenance companies of forward support battalions are replaced by 0800 service numbers.

Every platoon's TO&E includes "Sun Certified Java programmer - 1 each."

Rifles come with a boot disk.

Soldiers are heard to ask, "How many MEGs you got in your rucksack?"

Night vision goggles have a screen saver.

After lasing the target, your attack helicopter asks, "Do you really want to delete this target?"

Hand grenades require you to put in a password before throwing them.

SINCGARS is the most user-friendly piece of equipment you have.

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