Oh dear, we seem to be catching up with Americans!

The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2
Anne  Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
 
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
 
Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
 
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
 
Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were writtenby Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
 
National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
 
Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio  Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
 
Family Fortunes, ITV
1)     Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2)     A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3)     Name the Capital of France? F
4)     Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5)     Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6)     Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7)     What is Hitlers first name ? Heil
8)     A famous Scotsman?
Jock
9)     Some famous brothers ? Bonnie and Clyde.
10)    A dangerous race ? The Arabs
11)    Something that floats in a bath ? Water
12)    An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13)    Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
14)    A famous Royal ? Mail
15)    Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
16)    A famous bridge ? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17)    Something a cat does ? Goes to the Toilet
18)    Something you do in the bathroom ?  Decorate
19)    A method of securing your home ?  Put the kettle on
20)    Something associated with pigs ?  The Police
21)    A sign of the Zodiac ?  April
22)    Something people might be allergic to ? Skiing
23)    Something you do before you go to bed ? Sleep
24)    Something you put on walls ? A roof
25)    Something Slippery ? A conman
26)    A kind of ache ? A fillet of fish
27)    A Jacket Potato topping ?  Jam
28)    A food that can be brown or white ?  A potato
29)    Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30)    Something Red?
My sweater
 
The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.
 
Lincs FM phone-in
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
 
Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
 
Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument?
Contestant: The baton.
 
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Expresso.
 
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
 
Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy McGinty's?
Contestant: I don't know.
Wright: It begins with a G.
Contestant: Cow.
 
This Morning, ITV
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The  Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant: True ?
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.
 
BBC Radio Newcastle
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.
 
BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood:  It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood:  Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood:  OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
 
Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham  (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.