A married man and his secretary were having a torrid
affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over
to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love.
When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock. They
got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside
and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked thinking him pretty
weird.
The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked
where he'd been. The man replied, "I cannot tell a lie. My secretary and I
are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the
afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."
The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see
those are grass stains on your shoes. You damn liar! You've been playing
golf again, haven't you?"
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A wife was driving home from a shopping trip and was horrified to find her
husband in bed with a lovely young thing. Just as she was about to storm out of
the house, her husband stopped her with these words:
Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. As I was driving
down home from work on the highway, during the downpour, I saw this young girl
looking tired and bedraggled, so I offered her a ride and when I discovered she
was hungry and without money, I brought her home and made her a meal from the
roast beef you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had only some worn
sandals on her feet, So I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded
because they were out of style. She was cold, so I gave the sweater I bought
you for your birthday that you never wore because the color didn't suit you.
Her slacks were badly worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that were
perfectly good but to small for you. Then, as she was about to leave he house,
she paused and asked," Is there anything else your wife doesn't want
anymore?